New practices

Now I know I'm not quite old enough to remember, but when ol' bill started of the sally army, and do you remember when he started preaching to those people who weren't allowed in the church, and how he took songs from the 'devil' and put new words to them. Yeah, you remember how people would say that was evil.

Now, I know in my older teenage years I am becoming more liberal (for the better I feel) but in relation to recent thoughts and comments about an officer using tai chi in a meeting my feelings are this: yes, new age prectices, carried out in new age beliefs is quite probably a dangerous practice, BUT, if the practices are used in a different context, concentrating on God, and not the centre of the body or whatever IT IS PERFECTLY FINE! IT IS A CONTEMPORY, RELEVENT USE OF THINGS AROUND US! SHOULD AN OFFICER CHOOSE TO USE A FORM OF TAI CHI TO HELP HIS CORP FEEL AT PIECE DURING A MEETING IT IS HIS/HER RIGHT, AND QUITE PROBABLY RESPONSIBILITY CONSIDERING ANY BENEFIT IT IS GIVING TO THEIR CONGREGATION, TO DO SO.

Champagne Charlie is my name!

Time

There isn't enough of it!

next

So I've been pulling back away from deep theological discussions recently or anything of the sort because I've been trying to ask myself what does it mean to be a christian? I know by definition it is 'being christlike' etc, but I've had to ask myself what it is I need to be doing, why I seem to have high highs and low lows and whether thats nefing to do with me getting to caught up in stuff which isn't all that important.

It does sound like I have gone into simpleton mode, but as Paul says, do not become so concerned with the things of the law, but rather the things of the spirit. I know that I am what some people describe as an intelligent christian. This isn't me saying I'm clever or anything, but a lot of my faith and practice is thought out, which is why i suppose i keep a blog at the end of the day. This isn't too great a thing to be sometimes, depite it's uses. I know deep down I want to please God, but I start to think too much about it, debating laws and their context, and it only leads to me spending more time concentrating on the law then with God, which is a reason, I suppose, why I get down, because I start to get really upset and round up when I do go off course. I don't want to say the law is wrong, but I now know and see how one can concern themselves too much with the law. The word 4u 2day says our job is to 'get as close to God as we can and do as he asks.'

I suppose another problem is that I start to concentrate too much on the end result as to what is happening now. I don't want to go into too much depth, but rather I reccomend you have a look at Martin Thompsons blog missiome.blogspot.com

I am a big fan of comedy. I love laughing, it makes me feel good. But I was listening to somthing the otherday which struck a chord. It was on a very silly satire show which featured in a sketch this really over the top christian who wasn't really witnessing to the charecter he was in conversation to on the bus, but rather ramming christianity down his neck. He introduced himself as a christian, to which the other responded 'I'm not,' which led to the christian to reply 'thats ok, jesus loved the lost sheep, so it looks like I'll just have to love you too.' These people obviously exist, otherwise it wouldn't feature in these shows. I really believe in witnessing, despite how rubbish I am at it, but I really feel that this kind of over the top 'baige cardigan' actually moves people further away from God. This may be controversial to some people but this is how I feel.

Be back soon...

Update

There is nothing to say apart from things aren't getting better.

I need a holiday!

Those who pray - please get praying, before I really do go off the rails! I'm clinging on witht the last bit of faith in my body, desperately hoping for a miracle. I know I have to work hard, but I am tired and weary, and ready to throw in the towel, lay down my king. How foolish that would be.


I could go into mega detail, but I really can't. Maybe one day in say 60 blog entries time or somthing and I fully understand it all I'll be able to share whats gone wrong or somthing.

Oasis - "I wanna get high, but I just can't take the pain." (high on the holy spirit that is). (Pain from sacrifice).

Come and rescue me, save me from depair...

Some new things to look at

Welcome to my latest blog entry.

I have to admit I have had difficulty staying on the road since my last entry of note. I'm virtually back to where I was before the summer, and am desperately hanging over a black hole. I feel worthless and deppressed, lost all sense of drive and mission. I have well and truly hit a dry patch. I've had a time where I've been telling myself in the mornings if you don't have anything positive to say, don't say anything, then turning up at 6th form and slagging someone off. I've created humour amongst me colleagues and sadness from my father in heaven and the angels. King or cripple: what have I become?

So yeah, that's mostly thr reasons behind lack of blogging and saying anything. But I'm back and trying to mend now. Broken, beaten, but still hanging in there.

O come, o come Imanuel and ransom captive Isreal.

Sorry

Hi, this is just me proving to those of you who care I am still alove and I will blog somthing worth reading soon, rather busy and any thoughts and opinions are a little private so there you go.

May blog on wednesday or thursday.

Ben ;)

Hi

Hi, thought I'd come on and prove I am living, seeing as some of you don't seem to think I am :S

I could write an Essay on ethics of the Salvation Army, or I could write a biography of a great christian guy, or even say somthing deep and meaningfull, but I'm not. Why? 'Cause somtimes we seem to just over complicate things. We start to read really deep into things, which isn't wrong, but this is me highlighting Grace Sufficient. Thats what we're all about. Being saved, and sharing the great news. Full Stop.

(P.S I know there is lots of other inportant stuff which is comlicated, I just want to make the point this is our central belief and teaching, and we somtimes loose track of that!)

Rocking Horses and Tent Making - its the way forward...

And getting back to reality...

I've had a busy few days, so I havn' had chance to say much, but just to give you some interesting backround info Dad started his new job, and I havn't seen him look so comfortable, fullfilled and happy for 18 months, I've got a Job at my local hospital even though I'm not starting for a week or so, and today I was at the Salvation Armies regional headquarters to think about vocations today.

Two things beating on my mind at the moment. None of them theological really, nothing new and great. One is an idea for worship, and another is about my personnal journey and developement of faith.

For those of you who don't know me well (i.e, don't have a tatoo wih my name on or anything) I am extrememely passionate about worship. I don't just mean your sunday morning hymnals, I am passionate about how everything we should be glorifying God and a pure, beautifull act of worship to him, even though it seems little in comparison to what he gave. But coming back to our worship as a unit wherever we are I feel sometimes we get a little too comfortable. We get into a routine instead of offering undignified, undone, and (occasionally) unpredictable worship (see Matt redmans great book on worship 'The Unquenchable Worshipper'). So anyway, the point is I spend a fair bit of time thinking of one or two worship ideas that could be used. Somthing the same, but different; on the edge, engaging the worshipper. Well the great masterplan I've had pushed into my head is what could only be described as a 'worship feature,' and my thought process has always contained my church, Staple Hill Salvation Army, in mind. My idea is to use the contempory worship group (selected parts), and the Y.P (young people (children)) corps as the 'lead worshippers' for this act of worship. The idea is quite simple, and uses a simple, repitituosse song. The song is 'The prayers of the saints' by Matt Redman, which starts with the question 'Are the prayers of the scents like sweet smelling inscence to your heart?' and goes on to plead 'Let these prayers of the saints be sweet smelling insence.' The idea would be to use it at the opening of a meeting. What it would include is the groups bass guitar, electric guitar, (limited), keyboard (limited), vocal, and lots of simple percussion. This is where the Y.P corps come in. I feel we should always aim to include children in our worship, and it doesn't have to be through a silly song or nice story, but it can just be through something they have a basic understanding of, and in my experience children all learn to use basic percussion insrumens like marracas and claves, and under the leader ship of some of the realy talented musicians we have availiable, with them playing more complex simple toys like bongos and windchimes it would really add the the idea about this being a worldwide church involved with worldwide prayer. Also, we have a few mime dancers here, and some powerpoint techie guys, and if all of it was put together it would be a really engaging act of worship for the kids, and just a beautiful way of a body of people coming to God saying 'please, accept what we have to offer, and let our offerings of our hearts be a sweet sound to your ear.'

So to my personnal journey. It's all down to knowledge and understanding again. God's been bombarding me this week with the song 'Our God Reigns' by delirious. over and over its just been there when I've beens somewhere. The song is quite simply about how screwed up this world seems, but above it all our God Reigns. I've known the song for a while now, but what I've had difficulty understanding why the song stops talking about the entire world, and global issues, and starts to talk about psalm 139, and god not making us by mistake. It was when I listened on wednesday, it kicked in when the line 'He's a father who loves to parade you,' vilontly jumped out at me and grabbed me by the scruff of my shirt. The reason it does that is because many of us are that down hearted about ourselves, or life is so hard like it has been for me, but above everything, personal, or international, Our God Reigns. It's just like the song I'm in his hands which I was talking about a while ago. My confidence lies in God alone. In Christ alone my hope is found.

So thats me untill I next come on, if you are at all interesed. Thanks for all your support guys (I know it's not visible that much on here, but you have contacted me in different ways.) It really means a lot to me to know God has provided me with aquinatances, friends, and brothers and sisters who care for me! God bless the socks off of ya!

Anouncing the sad passing of the officership of (the former) Major Derrick Thompson

Yes it's true, and yes, I've been burning to blog about it for weeks now, but have been unable to up until this point. I guess your all wondering why this is such a big deal to me, when it is my Dad who resigned, and that seemingly doesn't really affect me. The problem is it does.

In english literature at the moment I am studying 'Wise Children' by Angela Carter, and one of the main themes is the idea of identity, and nutures role in that over nature. It just so happens that is rather true in real life. For over eighteen years my dad has been a salvation army officer, and I am his sixteen year old son. I don't know any differently. For 16 years I have been the officers son, and I know to some that isn't a great identity and to some it is a big headed identity, but that has been my identity. Somtimes it has hard to be the officers son, and not just an odrinary junior soldier, or senior, but as Mum pointed out I have loved my dad being an officer (I've not loved being an officers son necessarily). I can remember being 2/3 and siting on a bike seat behind Dad, going to the hall at shoeburyness, in those seemingly halcyon days, and other times like Dad dancing and choreographing, or doing Dramas many moons ago.

In recent years as well (apart from the past year in Dads illness) Dad has been a mentor to me a little, and has taught me a lot, mostly through my questioning, but it's Dad who I've been able to talk to as officer and Father, a relationship I've never seemed to pull off with Mum. He's also presented me with great opportunities through his work, such as being a techie for a rolling congress, and travelling from cambourne to exeter going through choruses which work to lean forward lean backwards, and doing the powerpoint for the congress extravaganza, which featured on of my greatest powerpoints I ever created. Then there's learning to speak publicly, and the support he's given me as an SA musician, and words of wisdom. He's shown me that when the going gets tough you can rise above it, and where you can be of help you should be willing to answer the call. He's taught me a wellspring of knowledge regarding the Army and religion. It may seem as I am talking as if he were dead, but all this stuff is stuff I relate to the identity. Things are going to be very different.

Am I angry at anyone in particular about it? I have been. People who caused him stress in a certain appt., people who made his childhood and youth hard, the Army for messing him about a fair bit. God, once or twice. The fact is it isn't really anyones fault in particular. Deppression is suppressed feelings, and Dad, like I do, doesn't like to show emotion, and so general things in life have led to deppression and a very public nervouse breakdown, which is why he can't go back to his corp officership.

How do I feel emotionally about it all? I don't know. My emotions have seemed to shut down on themselves. I feel like I can only cry at life, and only laugh at half truths and puns. Happiness seems a dim and distant prospect. I know things will come alright in the end.

How long will it take? How long will I have to wait? Come to me, rescue me, follow me with your love.

And so, 1 week on...

I know, I'm getting out of habit. To be honest a minute there are reasons I havn't been on this week, and one is a piece of news, which I cannot share for a few days still, but I will have a interweb breakdown on about tuesday or wednesday and it will all be good.

Another reeason is because I have had a rough old week. It has possibly been one of my worst weeks a christian for a long time. Well, I say as a christian, but this week I came very close to the borderlands. Thank you God for grace, or I wouldn't be here right now. Acctually, in the long run, this has worked out well (God is the ultimate planner) and in shakespearean terms I have come back 'with ten thousand times more rejoicing then I went forth with lamentations.' I suppose the crunch came last night. It had been a long night, which had almost ended in disaster with disagreements and stuff with friends, and it was a moment of almost completely giving up on it all. Well, I put my mp3 player on and what should be there but a song by Matt Redman called when my heart runs dry. Some of the lyrics are 'I recall the hight from which this fragile heart has slipped and I'll remember you...' How could I forget my mountain top experiences. I could I forget it was God alone who had got me to the top of those mountains (this mountains high; too high for us - Love me while you oull me over it). How could I forget the miracles. And so to the guitar and worship books. I hadn't sat down to worship on my own in a quite place for sometime. I couldn't start by singing great songs of praise and worship. There was more of a movement flowing 'I've had questions without answes. I've known sorrow I have known pain.' Which eventually became 'I will praise you; when the tears fall still I will sing to you.' This flowed into a song called the prodigal song. Funnily enough it wasn't the bit written for the prodigal which caught my heart, but the bit for the elder brother; 'Have I forgotten where I stand; taken for granted who I am: a child held in my fathers hands.' It was after then I was able to sing 'How great is our God,' and 'You are the lord - the famous one' which I always link with an arrangement I've done for the old words 'Fairest Lord Jesus, lord of all nature; O thou of God and man the son. Thee I will chrish...Thou my souls glory, joy and power.' I finnished my stumbling across a song by someone called Lara Martin called voice of hope. The opening line is 'As high as the Heavens are above the Earth, so high are your ways to mine; ways so perfect they never fail me, I know you are good all the time.' And then it hit me. Gods standerds and ways aren't just about him. They are about me and him. Its about whats healthy for me. Yes, I know this is sunday school answer stuff, but there is a difference between knowlegde and understanding. It hit me. And it also hit me that somtimes the things that seem to suck are Gods ways which are acctually what is best. Well anyway, since last night I have had a rock and roll day. I know it hasn't been my best on my 'christianomiter,' but the foundation stones which had sliped where there. I woke up, and prayer thank you God I have a really nice bed to sleep on, and as I stood not knowing what to have for breakfast I prayed thank you God that I have so much choice of food. Basic things like this really matter and make a difference.

I know I am going through an ultra tricky time, but I know if I can't keep my relationship with God really ablaze and lean on him, a little like Job, that I will be able to pull through.

'You are the voice of hope; the anchor of my soul.
Where there seems to be no way you make it possible.
You are the prince of peace admist adversity.
My lips will shout for joy to you the most high.'

It's also worth mentioning now, with 8 minutes untill tomorrow becomes today that I am very sad I can't be with my Salvation Army Divisional (regional) youth band dudes in Barnstable tomorrow. Nothing would bring me more joy then to glorify God with such an amazing fellowship of people. I pray with all my heart they will not forget who they do it for, and that they won't become hooked on right notes but would rather become hookedon right attitudes to worshiping our super cool saviour/father/friend. If any of the guys catch this at anytime, I sincerely pray you feel the same way as I do, and God will really be with you all tomorrow.

Just finally I notice somtimes I can type a way and seem a little condiscending, or talking in a 'holier then thou' way. That's not how I want to come accross and to do so is totally wrong, so I'm sorry and if I start to seem like I'm rising myself up above everyone else please drag me to the ground. I don't want to have a major falling out with someone as I almost did yesterday which would lead to any explosion (metaphorically).

Anyway 'Wherever you may go, the generosity of our Boss, Jesus the Liberator, rub off on you.'

From the sick bed

Aren't vaccinations ironic. The are meant to immune you from illness, and two days later you feel rubbish. Flu Vaccinations - Thank Goodness for the NHS.

Urgent! Wanted! Fully flooded christians, boiling over with salvation and Holy Spirit.

Project - Save the world.

Reasons: For long enough I've been babbling on about a revolution. Rivival is our aim. Win the world for Jesus. Friends, Brothers and Sisters in Christ, the time is here; the time is now.

Now: This IS the time for revival.
Now: Taking it up for survival.

I know I banter in about this a lot at the minute, but this isn't a phase, this is calling to save the people of the world, not just in third world countries, but your next door neighbours, you school/college/work mates, your family. This isn't just because there are thousands in the durtion of this blog who are entering hell. Yes this is important. Also, let me not be mis-interpreted let us not forget it is importent because Jesus told us too; his last message to the disciples. Yes this is the reason probably most important, and there are hundreds of others, but God has placed a new reason on my heart, and please correct me if you feel this is not Gods reasoning, but I believe as much as I believe in the sunlight that in this country there is a new reason. Brothers and Sisters, we must choose: Witness like crazy, pray like mad, and proclaim the gospel as if there is no tomorrow; or face the greatest major persecution our faith has seen in this country since the Roman era. The modern era has been and gone, and now so has the post modern era. Welcome to the begining of the post-christian era.

Now don't read this and get me wrong. I am prepared for any persecution, and seeing as times of persecution also lead to times of revival, I will welcome the future. Also, don't think I believe this country is no longer accepting of the human race, praise God that the people he has put in complete power all lay claim to the blood of Jesus, but elections happen, and monarchies die. Who knows what will be the situation in 50 years time.

I know it can be hard to save friends and family, and I find it hard daily, and I know I am not the greatest of evangelists, but keep going. There is only one song which is exactly the same throughout the globe: Hallelujah. When the Earth resounds with hallelujahs, don't let our country be full of the sound of silence.

First one for a while

Hi, thought I better post somthing before you all stop checking.

Quick prayer topic to start: I have a job interview next thursday at 10:00. Usual routine: please pray for confidence for myself, but that, as in all things, Gods will be done. Also for prayer: I have a nasty cold...

May I just use this space to advertise to the world (some people in particular) that I am no where near ready for another realtionship yet, and I need some 'cool' time to sort myself out in everything, and I doubt I'l be ready to venture back into that world anytime soon. I appreciate you have my happiness at heart, but thats not what is required for now.

(For other statements please see www.swyouth.org.uk guestbook: the unofficial home of the youth of UKT south western division youth.)

So just one thought to share - it is late after all. Robin hood, a neww BBC drama series starts on Saturday. The idea traditionaly, and the show does not fail this idea from what I read, is that Robin hood fights for justice. He will risk his own life and limb to see the course of justice carried out in times when justice was carried out. If you watch the trailer on the bbc website, you will acctully see Robin reminding soldiers, enforces of the law, what the law truly says the punishment for a certain crime should be, as opposed to them lopping someones head off! So my thought is shouldn't we be the same? The psalmist wrote 'Rightoussness and justice are the foundations of his throne.' Our God is a just God, and he hates injustice, and it is our responsibility to stand for justice, on all levels, whether it is that someone else is geting a detention for what we did, or 'that kid' in the football team never gets a chance to play, even though he's been to the most training sessions, or it is Human Traffiking it is our responisibility to stand up for justice. Big or small.

Any questions?

Here endeth the lesson.

A collection of thoughts

Firstly, those salvo's of the world who hapen to recieve the salvationist, or pick up a copy and flick through the pages at the army on a sunday; read the article on NEOs. Although the topic of NEOs may not be relevent to you personally there is some really good stuff related to life in general in the article.

Blogging christianity. It's quite interesting really, because as opposed to only sharing those high points with people, it kinda enables me at least to share my low moments. This weeks been kinda up and down, but I'm sure God will see me through good, as he always has done, and always will do. I feel able to say that I am the worlds greatest sinner, not because I'm a rebel, but because I can be weak, and I can share that I don't always keep my tongue in check, or my mind straight, clear and pure, because I know that because of the grace of God, the Blood of Jesus, and the regeneration of the Holy Spirit my Father extends his hand to me, picks me up from the dirt, brushes me down, and gives me the determination and encouragement to try again. Amen and Amen!

I was walking to school earlier, as I do, and was listening to my Mp3 player, and the song 'Every little thing's gonna be alright' by delirious? came on. It is a real song of encouragement, but some thoughts came to mind about the lyrics themselves. The chorus itself sings every little thing's gonna be alright over and over again, but the verses are different. The verses are about regeneration, revolution, revival, change, whatever you want to call it. In fact the opening line is 'Everything must change.' It goes on to say 'These bones they ache with holy fire, but I've got nothing to give; just a life to live.' Wow. Thats a thought. We don't have anything we can give to God in return for his goodness, and the closest we can give is the way we live our lives. Our Lives should be a constant act of worship to God because thats the closest thing we can give as repayment to him fo calvary and more.

Anyway, back to the song. So the words are twofold; Verses about regeneration and change, and the choruses about everything being ok. It's an interesting cocktail of lyrics, don't you think? Why talk about personal change, and everything being alright? Well, I see it as this: what happened on calvary was the removal of sins and reconciliation with God for all those who call on the name of Jesus (John 3:16 ...so that everyone who believes in him shall no die, but go to heaven). When we talk about calling on the name of Jesus, we talk about salvation, but the effect of salvation is so strong we should want to live the full 100% 'If it was good enough for Jesus, this is good enough for me' (good old Brengle) christian (christ like) lifestyle, and that is what the verses are talking about - change to this lifestyle. And the chorus? Reconciliation with God. God loves us so much that as well as sending his son to calvary he protects us from evil everyday, and wants to be 'our father God' - our protector and sheild. So in effect the song is if you are aiming for the 'highest goal,' if you are what the ancient romans called christlike as an act of mockery, you needn't worry about the bad times, because (as I was saing earlier) God will come through. I don't mean to say God won't help those who don't believe, because I believe in an omnibenevolent (all loving) God.

Well I think that about rounds up todays thoughts.

I would just like to use this blank bit of cyberspace to express my sadness that on sunday I won't be with the kids at our salvation army (church), but will be with the complete youth of Staple Hill, hearing about what has been described as an 'Important Topic.' All of those of you who do pray, please pray that I will be able to find it relevent, I will find the strength to overide my cynicism, and that i will be able to find the energy to pay attention, and I will be an 'encouragement' to all those around me, as opposed to a 'Nag.'

May I just also ask for your prayers for this weekend. This weekend the Salvation Army UKT will be praying over the issue of Human Traffiking. May I invite all of those who pray to please join us in prayer, because despite the fact that the abolution of slavery was almost 200 years ago slavery still exists, and it's not a 'only in Africa and Eastern Europe' problem, but is in our very towns and cities across Great Britain, and as far as I know, in every other wealthy western country.

Final issue for prayer: please pray for me. I know my imperfections, I know that they need sorting out, with rightousness being the new agenda for life, but I also know it will be an uphill struggle. Please pray God will give me strength and courage for the fight. Also, I hav done an arrangement of a song for worship, complete new piano part and everything, and it's going to have its first practice on sunday. Please pray that I won't let myself become cocky, or big headed, or anything like that, but I remember that the song was written as an act of worship, that the arrangement I have done was done in an attitude of worship, and that when it is played, or sung or brought to mind, whistled, hummed, anything done with the song and arr. should be worship, bringing glory to God, not self.

Well people, here's to positive change. Here's to the battles ahead, the future victories; the future outpourings of grace; the future of holy living, built upon christ the rock, not morality or good deeds for peoples praise.

'I built my house where the ocean meets the land - it's time to live again; pull my dreams out of the sand.'

Just Quickly

So someone was talking to me online last night, and we were talking about somone from the army, and she asked 'so do you kow him through salvation?' Dropping the word army.

But now there is a question. Do you know him through salvation. Forget the guy we were talking about. Do you know him through salvation, or do you know him as the great judge, which he is?

Do you know him as your friend and father, because he paved the way for relationship, or do you know him as the guy who you keep running after because you know everything depends on him, and your determined not to go down?

I'll post some more stuff later today probably, so watch this space!

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, It's a new life for me

So today has been one of those days. You know the kind of thing; a lesson which should be cancelled ends up being covered by a french teacher, late for drum lesson etc.

Also, it's been one of those days spiritually. There's a comedian from America who says that when they pray sometimes they feel like they're talking to a hand puppet. I wouldn't go as far as that, but you know those times when you pray, but you don't really feel acknowledged, and your heart and mind go into combat with each other. What also isn't cool about that is it makes christian lifestyle harder. I'll admit, I did let my tongue slip a bit today.

Talking about christian living, here are one or two thoughts on giving, in the form of stories. Firstly, I was walking up park street (a main shopping area in Bristol) on saturday, and some meningitis charity were collecting as they do. I was walking up and thought 'This man is going to want my money,' and I was very tempted to run past in a bid to get away with it. However when he did grap me my heart decided to give, and so I quite happily put some money in, made small talk, etc, and I felt quite happy for the rest of the day, and I felt I had used my money to benefit others. The point here is 1: God loves a chearfull giver, and 2: When we give, how much more we recieve in Grace from God. This is demonstrated in my next story.

A man who shall remain nameless was walking through sainsbury's, and thought 'I know, I will buy a lottery ticket; I've never done that before.' Well, anyway, he was walking towards the counter, and he passed a breast cancer charity stand, and thought that maybe his pound would be put to better use by them. So he put his money in the bucket, in return for nothing, so he thought. Well, an asda worker stood by the stand said 'Do you want to have this sir?' and she gave him, for free, a create full of cola. As I said, when we give, God gives us so much in return.

Well, that's how my thinking goes, anyway.

The days I cannot see...

Welcome to the great Thompson Family Debate 06.

I should explain the subject matter is the song 'I'm in his hands,' a real salvation army golden oldie. The debate is over the line 'The days I cannot see have all been planned for me.' Don't get me wrong here, I'm not out to become a heretic but this is the thing...

This is Dads viewpoint: We always talk about Gods masterplan etc and so on, but what about peoples situations where apsolutely no good can come from it. Children who are beaten by their parents, women who are raped etc. Can we really sing the days I cannot see have all been planned for me? Wouldn't we be better singing 'the days I cannot see I know he'll walk with me.'

Now just to balance it up: We sing 'are planned.' We dont sing 'are determined.' We musn't forget there is an enemy against God, and he is out to cause evil in this world. But then how can God, the creator protector and preserver of all things allow this to happen. If he is so good how can he allow an enemy to exist.

I suppose it does go back to the fact that mankind did lose that perfect relationship. I suppose although this relationship has been mended through calvary In order for mankind to be reconciled to God mankind needs to be shown by christian men and women alike that it is in a state, and desperately needs God.

Actually, mum was preaching about this subject in this mornings meeting. She was talking about regeneration (linked to the theme of staple hills (an area in Bristol) regeneration.) She was saying for there to be complete regeneration there needs to be reconciliation with God and regeneration by the Holy Spirit. In fact this is in the docterines of the salvation army:

We believe that repentance towards God, faith in our Lord Jesus Christ; and regeneration by the holy spirit are necessary to salvation.

So what that says is in order to be saved the world has to become christian basically, but I mean the real thing. Also, it's is not a majority thing, it is a everyone thing. I suppose what I am trying to say is that all these problems in the world which we could easily blame God for will only be resolved when the world looks to God and bows down. And yet again people the subject of evangelism comes back to haunt us, because the world isn't going to hear the gospel on its own accord.

Just one or two thoughts from the Thompson household, also helping me clear my head, as doing this often does :)

Just a few words

I'm just going to go staright in this, Open Confession is good for the soul...

I do have issues. I can be too nosey for my own good. I am insecure about not knowing what people around me are doing. I am insecure about peoples friendships. I can be a nagging so and so. Somtimes I dont know wen to drop something. There you all go. I'm not perfect, I'm not all holy, Im not completely righteouss.

*Well what brought that on Ben?* When asking someone if they were going somewhere (In view of asking for a lift (there's another 1 for you there, I'm also selfish)), they replyed they weren't going. I asked why, and they said they weren't saying, and I'm ashamed to say I kept going on about it for the best part of half an hour, untill they said they weren't saying they were'nt telling anyone to see what their response would be, and thats the moment it hit me.

So their we go people. I have my failings, I have my insecurities, I need grace as much as anyone on this earth. So now you know. It's official. I'm no great spiritual warrior, no great man of worship, no wonderful scholar of the Bible.

So now you know. So now I know

My heart is a drum

My soul, a stringed instrument.

My mind, the conducter.

My Lord, the audience.

So I'm sat here, to be precise at this very moment of writing, and a thousand and one musical ideas, and lyrics are zooming around my head. A chord pattern and tune have just happend. I mean happened, I didn't put much imput into it, they were just there, and I don't recognise them at all.

O lord that my mind would remember my heart's crys.

I have a chrous:

Come and rescue me, save me from despair
Everlasting God, listen to my prayer
Come and rescue me, take me by the hand
Help me be a light to fill the darkness of this barren land.

Problem is I sung a verse, but now its gone.

Sometimes we do that, we let our hearts take over our mind, and they just shout out to God, and then we forget what the prayer truly was, or is that just me.

Sometimes, Lord, I find it hard to sing the
Songs of your love, and songs that sing that all is
Well when' Lord, my heart is really lost in
Troubles and trials, but Lord I know you're always there;

Jesus Christ, you've carried me through all these
Times of despair, and listened to me as I've
Made my prayers; Well Lord I pray for much more
Spirit and love, To drag me through these toils and snares;

God help me to not forget that you have
Been through such times, and worse then that: you scacrificed
Your son, so that you could be father
God; three in one: father son and holy ghost.

Thats that out of my system, to an extent.

Doesn't it blow you away that in making us i his likeness God made every individual human being creative, whether through music, or words or art, or modelling etc. It is in our very material to get creative. Wow.

Was reminded of the need for imenint action in staple hill walking home tonight.
Firstly I saw a group of kids, about 13/14/15 stood drinking, just not doing anyone or themselves any good, but it was the next thing I saw that saddened me most. As I walked past a pub I watched three teenages, about the same age again, running for the back door of the pub, and by the way they did it you could tell they knew it wasn't right. O that the Army would do so much more for these kids. They are on our doorstep after all, it's surely our duty to rescue them!

Here endeth the lesson

Wise words

Here's my contribution to the 'stop fightin at the the top' lobby.

'Lets stop tinkering with the army and get on with the war'

(I think norman bearcroft, one of those giants!)

Thoughts

So just some random thoughts from the past little while.

So on a personal level I've been thinking through my attitudes, my thoughts, my reponses to peoples comments in my head. I can control my actual self easily, but not my mind and thoughts. It is not enough to appear to be what I'm not, but that's not to say I'm going to give up changing, it just means I really have to work hard to stop the pride, the boastfullness inside, the 'I'm right, your wrong, end of story' attitude.

Next thought is todays philisophical idea. Whilst performing that great annual appeal menouvre the 'leap frop' I was considering the kids game leapfrog. The thought behind it is quite simple. The idea is basically that kids jump over other kids, who provide support, and they take it in turns to give and recieve help. It should be the same with christians. Thats it. No big theology or anything. That's it.

21 today

In blogging terms, that is...

So I have now completed my first annual collecting round. I think we are losing our legendary reputation. I hear people say 'What the Army needs is another big disaster or war in this country to come to its rescue!' RUBBISH! What pathetic viwpoints. What the Army needs is everyone to get on with what they have been called to do. They ned to get on with serving everyone in their local communities, not just that nice man from number 92 down the road. Then the Army will earn its legendary reputation!

Also I was thinking whilst wondering through to big posh estate, why is it we spend a lot of time concentrating on the poor. Don't get me wrong, the poor need our social help more then anyone, but when it comes to savin souls we always are up for saving the poor, but maybe not so when it comes to the rich. Do they need a lesser salvation? Do they not need grace? Will they be able to pay their way into heaven? No No No. I dunno why we do this, maybe its suppressed jealousy or summit, but Jesus told us to preach the gospel to everyone, not just those with no material possesians, just so we can keep them happy!

He's got the keys to the door, never been 21 before!

The sweet sound of the blues

Welcome to the terms juxtaposition. I am currently listening to some nice soft blues, but I am in a good mood. This is even more weird seeing as I have been doing homework since 2:30 (time now being 4:20).

Anyway, I have my reasons to be in good mood. For a start this afternoons lesson was cancelled (Praise Be!) which has allowed me to catch up on my homework.

I should have been at the party last night. For a start it would have been a good experience, secondly, it would have been good to be there to support salvationist friends who go and don't drink, but the real reason I should have gone is because no-one got any alcohol and could buy any. When one of the dudes was explaining to me earlier today how thankfull they were (because, lets be honest, it's not all that fun to watch your friends destroy yourself) that this happened. I could of burst like a holy firework. I've been in a good mood ever since. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel pleasure from other peoples displeasure, but having prayed for those there, and that the Salvationists faith would hold out, and that my friends wouldn't wreck themselves with a triple lesson looming over them in the morning, I can't help but feel God did place his hand in that situation, and I can't help but praise my God when he does move his hand in order to protect his people!

My last reason I suppose isn't realy a reason to be happy. Tonight is my first night annual appeal collecting. I am filled with what can only be described as an air of anticipation. I'm not sure whether to expect to hear about the Army's legendary history, or be greeted with 'The Salvation Army?' Well, it will be an experience to say the least. I suppose I do consider it to be a bit of a mission opportunity, in the sense that people could ask about the Army, and instead of deny the christian faith and the Army, just covering up with social work, I can slip a bit of reasoning as to why in there as well. Go for souls; go for the worse...

In today's news...

Right so today I'm going to talk you through certain things from today and see how it rolls from there.

So usualish sunday routine as always: alarm clock goes, I hit the snooze button (times 3), drag myself out of bed, shower, shave, breakfast. So we have hit the point of breakfast. I'm eating my breakfast and I turn my laptop on, just to see if anyone interesting has emailed me, or if anyone has been bothered to add a coment (I like comments - makes me feel less ignored!). Well, for some reason I find myself on the Nooma website. Just to fill in the gaps for people reading this who don't know what Nooma is, Nooma is a series of DVDs by an american precher called Rob Bell, who is fantastic, and wonderfully normal. Well anyway, I decided to watch the first in the series which you can watch online for free, which is called rain. So I watched and ate. Well, anyway, Rain is all about the hard times in life, you know the times when life seems all dark and gloomy and it isn't going to get any better, but God is with us through it. As you can imagine, at this time in life it is like balm to the soul to watch, because it does admit 'Yes, there are times in life when it's hard, and yes, sometimes we can't see past the situations we are in, and yes, it happens to all of us.' Well anyway, Rob Bell said somthing that really did stike a chord. He was saying how Jesus told the story about the wise man and the rock and foolish man and the sand, but the point was Jesus didn't say to the Jews 'If the storms of life come,' he said 'When the storms of life come.' Jesus acctually understands life does have its difficulties. Jesus knew what he was tlaking about, he knew the pain, he knew lifes turmoils. Jesus had grown up. Jesus had been a teenager like me, and from what I can tell from the Bible, yes my dad isn't the same because of depression, but Jesus acctually lost his earthly father by the time he was thirty. What a thought.

Well, today was harvest sunday, and as far as harvest sundays go it was quite good acctually. However, as I went through the usual bandsmen motions, I did find myself asking who I was playing for. I'm sorry to say this isn't a new question. I am quite concerened about this, and I do find myself wondering whether I should step back from staple hill SA and bands and songsters and all that to asses my worship. I suppose what Adam Moran did when he was living in Exeter at a time when I was, was go to different churches regurlary (or however you spell it), and join in fully with worship, and get fed that way. I suppose my problem is, yes, my mum is the active oficer, and yes my dad is the officer who is off sick, and so as a member of the group of people I am not individually Ben who has come to worship as an individual human being, but as the Ben, whose parents are the officers, but isn't it sad about his father, and in worship this can be distracting. I end up lossing track of worship, becoming more concerened with what other people think of me. The obvious solution would be to up and move to kingswood/citadel/pill/knowle/easton, but I believe God has put me in staple hill for a reason. I just pray things will sort themselves out before too long.

So that brings me to this point. At this very moment there is a large booze up 6th form party happening down the road in kingswood. I'm not there for two reasons: 1. lack of funds, and 2. I'm too scared. Don't getme wrong, I do enjoy partying away with friends and dancing and singing, and I really enjoyed my school prom, which was alcohol free, but I don't know I am ready to walk into the middle of a room of drunk teenages, and say 'I don't drink.' I don't know I can tolerate the behaviour, both in the form of violence, or the sexual behaviour, with drunk boys groping girls etc etc. The problem is if I am not able to go in to one place like this, how am I going to cope with life? Is this all because I am watching my friends destroy themselves publically? I dunno. Maybe I'll have to try and go to the next one and see...

Blank

It's funny, I have a million and one ideas of what to put in my blog, and I forget them when I sit down. Acctualy, I've got thoughts coming to me...

I definately believe the division's youth are on the verge of revolution. I generally feel that God has somthing big planned, and I know I'm not the only one. However, there is no revolution without revolutionaries, and one cannot be a revolutionary unless they know what they are out to change.

O Sovereign Father God, that what I am about to say next is true, not self rightouess, but will bring glory and honour only to you!

I was talking to someone online yesterday, someone who agrees with me about this subject, which I am always going on about (I'm that excited about it), and they suggested maybe a group of us (and he ran of an example list of names) got together to pray and ask God what he wants us to do. Now don't get me wrong, I believe that sometimes it is appropiate to ask God what he wants us to do, because otherwise we could run off in other directions, however I believe that God has quite clearly revealed to some of us, myself included, what he wants from every person in this division. I believe God wants complete, pure christianity. I don't mean to say that people aren't trying hard as it is, and I don't want to belittle peoples faith and relationship, but I feel what God wants is us all trying our hardest to live out our faith as laid out in the Bible. I'm talking radical christianity. I've just finished reading Aggresive Christianity, and started Live like a Jesus freak, and that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a generation of young people who deny themselves daily, pick up their cross, and choose to walk in the footsteps of our Lord, and walk along Via Dolorosa. Not neccaserilly become martyrs of life itself (red martyrs), but definately martyrs to the posh, fancy, easy lifestyle the world has to offer (white martyrs). I'm talking about kid's who choose to witness to christ, not the facts from a book, not a lecture, but softly, via their relationships, their own personal stories; stories, combined with the true gospel which will make their friends respond like that roman centurion and say 'Surely this man was the son of God.' I'm talking a generation whose hearts wil be filled with so much love that they will not only love the community of salvationists and christians as they would their best friend, but also the unloveable, the downhearted, the distressed, the needy, the minority, that weird kid in class who doesn't speak, and whose tousers are too small and hairs in a mess. I'm talking about a group of young people always willing to pray for one another, and who always bless one another in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. I'm talking about a generation who loves God so much that their only desire is to get to know him more and more, and bring their friends with them. I'm talking about kids going to worship, forgetting everyone around them, and making it their personnal time to praise God. I'm talking about kids for full of the spirit that they don't see miracles, they carry them out, and not only that, but they recognise God and Satan in everything, and praise God for what he is in, and defy Satan. I'm talking about kids who see the spiritual battlefield and see where they are needed most, and conciously choose to serve God where he needs them most. I'm talking about teenages who will not let hormones control them, and who put christ before everything, and like Nehimiah pray to God before making any decision or doing anything important. I'm talking a 21st centuary Salvation Army.

I'm praying a 21st centuary Salvation Army.

I'm praying a mass revolution and revival.

I'm praying for personal revoltuion and revival.

(P.s, I'm really sorry for the bad english/grammer/spellings - spell checker isn't working!)

Ups and Downs

Don't you just wish you could be always on a positive with God?Always up there, in that place where things are always great and fantastic? I know I do.

So yes, recently in the past few days things havn't been as fantastic as they have been. When things do seem to start drying up, or things aren't going as they should be I always seem to end up questioning God, really without good reason, bar being led to by satan.

Recently it would appear God has been trying to wake me up to this fact. This has quite possibly been the shortest dry(ish) period I've been through, and its finished with me reading and hearing things about this. God remembers we are like clay, and go through doubts and uncertainty, and sometimes we just have to have faith that Jesus is there, because he always is. I was also reminded of this at swsca. The choral with band accomp sung 'Jesus will still be there.'

Some of the words associated with this song are 'When the going gets tough and the right too rough, and you feel that you have had enough Jesus will still be there...When you feel like you've lost it all, and you havn't got a prayer Jesus will still be there.'

I hope this post makes sense to those who care about the inane drivel I tend to write.

Monday to Friday

Hey, wrote this song at SWSCA, and I havn't really shared it with anyone yet, so I thought yo lot could be first.

Chorus
Monday to Friday - those ordinary days in the week.
Monday to Friday - when it's not you that I seek.
Lord, will you change me, so my life will always show
To all those around me your true love that I know.

Verse 1
Sat at my desk, surrounded by all of my friends;
Their part lives leading them all to dead ends,
Yet for some reason it's their approval I chace
But then on a Sunday I am back running the race.

Verse 2
Lord you don't want me sundays alone; 9 to 5;
Nor all my money, Lord you demand my whole life.
All of my days, Lord, and all of my living hours
I give to your will, and all you heavenly powers.

Is this true for me personally? It was before writing it to a certain extent, and I'm really fighting to not get to that place again. I would hope that those who hear or read it will take it seriously, and it would become their prayer as well as mine, because it is such an important subject.

To the 24/7 generation of christians!

Jesus loves me

For a while Norman Bearcroft was the Canadian Staff Bandmaster. While he was he wrote an Arrangement of the song 'Jesus Loves Me.'

One day, while he was in his office, one of the bandsmen came to talk to him. He asked 'Why is that arrangement so simple?' Norman sat in silence for a moment, then replyed with a tear rolling down his face 'It's as simple as that.'

Today is going to be the day.

So this morning I prayed, but, instead of forgetting as usual, included the line that God would create opportunities for me to share the christian faith was, so I explained that yes, historically, Jesus did come to Earth, and yes, Jesus died, but I also explained that he died to save us from what we do wrong that could potentialy send us to hell, and I explained the jewish history behind the idea of the lamb of Gowith people his love and his truth. Well I was sat waiting for a bus with 2 school mates, and one of them made a comment about Jehovahs Witness's. He then asked if I was one, and so I said no and that I was a christian, and thus, was a member of the christian faith. So he asked what exactlyd. He did ask a few more questions, untill the point he said 'I just can't get m head around it, it just doesn't seem to make sense,' but there was an element of uncertainty about what he was saying in his voice. I think I've planted a seed. Lord, that I will be able to nuture this seed, and that the hearts of the stubborn will be softened.


In any other business, our corps building project means that in January our Salvation Army Corp (church) will hopefully be kicked out our suite of buildings. It looks like our youth will be adopting a cell group style. This is good news I feel, because the sense of community in our youth has wained of late. There used to be a time when it was all inclusive, and now we have gone to the opposite end of the spectrum, where no one seems to care anymore. With a bit of luck we will find a happy medium between January and July.

Well todays potential debate issue for all those musicians out there: what makes the performance of salvationist music, or worship songs and arrs. any more an act of worship then playing a piece of music about nature, which is surely a celebration of God's creation. Why play 'Bind us together' in the offering, and not 'Seed Capsule' by Joby Talbot? Just another thought. It might spark Discussion of sorts, it migh not.

Could someone please help with what apppears to be a cryptic message. For some reason my heart keeps repeating a line from the Toreádor song from Carmen by Bizet. The line is 'Let me return your toast gentlemen - we bullfighters and soldiers understand each other.' I don't believe the first part is important, but I feel that the soldiers and bullfighters represent something or a group of people . Maybe the soldiers are salvationists. OOO, I've just had a thought. The bullfighters were showmen, attracting peoples attention. This is like the media. The soldiers are christians. We should be attracting peoples attention the the Gospel on as large a scale as the bullfighters.

Maybe, or Maybe I think too much, but then mind you, God did give me a brain to think, and it is a brain that looks for these metaphores and other such things.

Questions, Questions, Questions.

Anyway, prayers, keep praying, and God bless all of you.

Milestone

Yes ladies and Gents, tomorrow (or today when I click publish) marks my first full week at "The school of the mis-represented gospel"'s 6th form. It has been a struggle not to slip back into the conformity again, but by Gods strength (and, I have to admit, his strength alone) I'm just about managing to rise above it.

I'm begining to think maybe now is the time to start a school C.U. I have said about this before, but I have never felt that the time is right. But now, I feel God is saying it is time. It is time for the handfull of christians to be comfortable in letting their faith be known. It is time for the small group to support, encourage, and build each other up. It is time for there to be a group of people willing to stand up and reprsent the true gospel.

Anyway, the theme of encouragement is popping up a lot at the minute. For a while now Martin (Thompson (DYO (I said hey, ho, DYO))) has been reminding me to encourage those around me at Staple Hill, so that's nothing new, but the theme has been on my heart for about a week now, and I have always been a huge fan of Barnabus in the Bible (the guy who convinced the christians to accept Paul, and mentored Paul during his early ministry). I think maybe God is calling me to become a mentor to someone, not only to benefit them, but to help me grow i my faith. Problem is, I'm not sure who and hopefully God will show me someone. Acctually, as I'm typing someone is coming to mind, but 00:08 in the morning isn't the best time to start contacting people about it.

For those of you who have commented thank you for doing so. It's really good to share my confused ramblings which normally take place in my head, and be able to get a second opinion and advice. I suppose that's why I have managed to get into this blogging thing.

Well, back to the main battlefield. As you were, soldiers!

Yeah

So it has been several days since i last posted anything relevent, so here we go.

For an event at christmas I am helping to organise what can only be best described as a nativity party. My part is truly the nativity, but I have had to mould it to our post modern world. I started with how I saw and wher I saw the events surrounding the nativity taking place. Well, anyway, I have had the great fun of manipulating the story without becoming a heretic (always fun), thus changing the events that they happen in a way that is relevent to our generation. It has been a real eye-opener to see how God works in our lives today. For example, the bit in the story proceeding the magnifict, when Mary is told that she is going to be pregnant, I have had to manipulate it that she is already pregnant so it makes it easierto believe, and instead of Gabriel appearing, a guy comes up to her in a night club and says he has got to take her to a private place so he can give her a message from the manager. Anyway what doing this has done is brought to ligh how God has acted on my life. I believe in angels, not neccesarily the mythical creatures, but those who God sends along just at the right time. Thats not to say I don't believe in the cheribim and all those, but that I believe that they do work on different levels. Or maybe I'm just a being a heretic (someone please say if I am).

Well, tomorrow I am going the deerhurst old peoples home, guitar in hand to help them engage in worship, and sing to them how good God is. Two days ago I was thinking this is rediculous, because there are tims at the minute where God doesn't seem so good, but praise God I was shown his goodness in the past and present, and that satan was out to get me down. Well, tomorrow I'm walking in with my head held high, ready to witness and worship!

Into the world I go.

The world for God, I'll give my heart, I'll do my part.

.

And so it is, things are no different, bar the fact I have a virus which is making me tired, which isn't helping the family stress levels.

I do have a lot to write at some point, but I am too tired to think at the minute, so those of you who do look at this occaionally, there will be somthing interesting soon. Just pray for healing!

As it is.

So yes, I am back in education. And yes, I have fallen at the first hurdle a bit, and have been struggling to keep my tongue in check. I guess somtimes we forget temptation doesn't come from satan alone but from those around us. I know that I nedd to fight to rise up above it. It's going to be a long and difficult battle. Those who do read this, please pray for me (if you do).

I suppose that this hasn't been the easiest of times really, with our family situation as it is. However it has to be said it has been made a little easier from several things that happened at SWSCA. One of the biggest helps is from one of the staff team. The choral option sung a song she wrote called 'Get me through this day.' I was fortunate enough to be let in on the background to the song. In times when I find it hard to find the words to pray, it has become the prayer of my heart and soul.

Lord Jesus, will you get me through this day?

Little Children Praise You Perfectly...

Just a short one for today.

For some time my mind has been thinking about two things in combination, one being childlikeness (not childishness), and one being undignified worship. Origionally, they were independant thought patterns, but in the past month they have merged.

In the musical paraphrase of Psalm 8, the majesty and glory of your name,' it says "O Lord, our Lord, little children praise you perfectly." In the NCV version it speaks about children and babies are taught to praise by God. This got me thinking. ofton we spend a lot of time concentrating on how we as adults should worship, and how we should act and how our heart should be, but are we looking at this the wrong way.

When children participate in worship they don't make a fuss of it. They don't moan about styles and dancing or anything else. In fact, all they do (with the odd exception) is just give all out to that time of praise to their God. A beautiful illustration of this I noticed at the candidates farewell a few days ago. In one of the congregational songs, a real oldie, a boy was stood in the doorway of the main hall singing and dancing without a care of what everyone around him thought. He must have been 7 or 8, no older. Also, when I cast my mind to other meetings in most places, I can see similar pictures, just different places, songs, and faces (that would be a good line in a song).

So back to the question about whether we are looking at our personal worship in the wrong way. Jesus said about us becoming like a little child. Maybe its time we stopped looking at our worship in a sophisticated strategic way, and just became like little children, bringing our complete devoted unaffected offering to God.

"O Lord, our Lord, little children praise you perfectly; and so would we, and so would we."

Just a thought.

Further Notes

I should start by saying I didn't really make clear the direction I was going in last post around. Rants just happen with me when I type, and I didn't quite make clear what I was acctually annoyed about. Sacraments are not evil or wrong or anything, and can acctually be helpfull to some individuals in worship. These are the two things I got upset about while typing:

1) The Army's 'hypocrisy' in saying that because we don't need sacraments we won't use them officially to get to a purer less confused faith, which was all well and good untill they introduced their own.

2) As Catherine Booth puts it in Aggresive Christianity, (Thanks to (Cpt.) Andrew Clarke for the copy) all our actions in our faith, whether it is keeping the traditions of the sacraments or cleaning the streets, can either be nothing but a 'Clanging cymbal,' or if it is 'Expressed in love' it can be 'everything.'

No, sacraments are not an evil whatsoever, and if I ever made anyone understand this is my belief, then I apologise. In fact, one of the many highlights of SWSCA (music school) for me was sharing in the 'ribena communion' in our cell groups. However, I do not, along with the values of the Army in theory, believe that sacramentalism is a fundamental issue of our christian faith. As Catherine Booth puts it again in the very same book 'Religion is the old convenant, relationship is the new convenant.'

Sacrements

Yes, so here we go...

The origional churches (the orthodoxes and roman catholic, at this time linked together before the great skism(is that how its spelt?)) came up with the origional seven sacrements, including baptism, communion, marriage and others. Sacrements are, in effect, 'An outward form of an inward grace' (does that realy make sense?). The Salvation Army takes very much to heart the Bible verse 'The Lord does not look at the things man look at. Man looks at the outward appearence, but the Lord looks at the heart.' (see also Philliapians 3) Therefore sacrements are not neccesarry parts of our religion, and it was Catherine Booth lobbied against their use (in the Army Archives you can actualluy find the last plate and challice used in official communion in the Army).

So, this is all well and good, but one can't help but notice we have managed to install our own sacrements. Uniform is baptism in clothes. As Comm. Linda Bond is known for putting it, by putting on uniform we are showing the world we have died to ourselves and are alive in christ (this is very similar to baptism don't you think? All that's missing is the water!).

I suppose our very meetings have become like sacrements. Instead of the spontanius meetings the Army was born with, we all seem to know our routine of worship. We get trapped in the routine of opening song, prayer song, 'and now our prayer,' section, blah blah blah... There almost seems to be barely any space left in our meetings for our own personal expression. I'm sure there are those who disagree with me, but from my viewpoint this is quite possibly where we are: trapped in religious routine, just as Jesus warned us not to, and as paul reminded us not to in Collosions 2: 18-19

And now, for our rules and regulations to take a battering. I'm sorry but the uniform and section rules is a load of rubbish. To worship in the band or songsters or junior sections you have to wear the appropiate uniform. If someone can't keep to our organizations (lets face it) strict rules, why should they be disallowed from worshipping in the way that is most appropiate to them. I applaud open sections which are not conforming to these old views and opinions, but if the Army is to survive this difficult age in time, where our rules appear ten times stricter, then we can't keep playing the law and saying 'if your not willing to...then you cannot worship in this way.'

I suppose at the end of the day the Salvation Army is a human organization trying its best to follow God.

Self Disappointment

Yesterday was divisional candidates farewell. It was o.k, saw some friends from SWSCA (music school + drama + technical support). Well, near the end of the meeting there was call for applicants and candidates so Salvation Army to go to the platform. Then there was the call for people who feel called and want to start their journey towards officership to go to the platform. I do feel the calling occaisionally. I thought of many excuses, such as it was a call for more applicants, but at the end of the day I jsut ended up feeling ashamed of myself. I thought I saw people looking at me, and I was going to get up, but the chance had been and gone. Lesson learnt: don't delay, answer today.

On the way home my sister decided to start a heated discussion over the sacrements and the Army. Isn't it funny how an Army who decided sacrements aren't necesarry have invented their own lot. I'll muse about this later. For now, to the Army...

Woah..

I know, this could be demed as over blogging, but I got too much going on in my head at the moment.

I feel like a timebomb waiting to explode. I'm fed up of settling with the status quo, and I am desperate to live my life to make an impact. Always untill now I have wanted to go to university and study music, but what good is that going to do for any one? Why delay going into vocational work for my lord and saviour. Why am I settling with the world telling me I would be wasted not going to uni, rather then the world telling me I would be wasted not going off to do what God wants me to as soon as possible. Why is it that I am begining to see past the western material matrix, and feeling so hopeless, when I should be challenging the status quo. The world says someone isn't pretty enough, or 'sexy' (eugh, what a word) enough, or doesn't have that star quality, or isn't 'bright' enough, why is it that my brothers and sisters in the faith and I aren't out there telling people about the only God, who loves everyone relentlessly, and made everyone how he wants them to be. Why do I watch as my friends idolise the worthless, and spit on the only one able to save them.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Will someone out there please prevent me from going mad!!!

Character

First and foremostly, apologies for my atrocious mis-spelling of character.

Secondly, I had to share this with someone, so those who seem to care seems appropiate. For a while this divisions youth seemed derelict, and after the last youth band of this year (please see the gustbook at the unofficial home of the Southwestern Youth at www.swyouth.org.uk) I thought we'd had it. But God layed the bible passage of Ezekial and the dry bones on my heart, and amen, things have happened, and I have vision again. I think this division can rock all those we are accountable for. Guys who read this, lets shake our cities and change lives with God's love!

And the next day...

So today I went bowling. Well, i say I went bowling, there was a waiting list, so I went to watch a film instead. The next film within an hour was 'Nacho Libre.' It wasn't citizen cain, but it wasn't awefull. Just a few thoughts:

1) In the film, the main charecter, who is a monk at an orphanage (who wants to be a wrestler), asks the orphans tutor, a nun, whether it is always wrong to fight. She points out that to fight for stradom and fame and money is pointless and stupid (as the charecter learns), but we should fight for the justice, for the poor (in particualr in this instance: the orphans), and other such stuff. I wonder whether in this age the Army, desperate to hang on to its age old reputation, is spending too much time fighting to uphold its legendary reputation over fighting for what we were born to fight for: the poor, the sick, those treated unfairly and without trade justice, and the addicts. I mean, when was the last time that I, or any members of my youth group, or any members of the Band, or songsters, or junior groups, or the contempory worship group, or youth band, or anyone I know who isn't employed to went to pray with the sick, campaign for trade justice, volunteered to help at the local rehab centre, which at the end of the day is only a 30 minute cycle ride down the road. When was the last time that someone was able to see Jesus through me?

2) Later on in the film, the lead charecter chooses to go against the clutter of his religious practices and fight to be able to help the orphans lives become better. Now I wouldn't encouage wrestling, but it reminds me of that passage in Amos when God tells the jews he's fed up of all their religious practices because they are preventing them from helping one another. In the army we can somtimes be too quick to let expectations according to our rules stop us from going into the places where we are needed. For instance I have met very few salvationists willing to go into a pub, but these tend to be the centres of communities. Surely if the army wants to be a pillar in its communities it should be willing to enter into them. mmmm

Just some musings. They might spark disscussion, they might not.

Today...

So I didn't get the job I wanted at Wesley Owen. I don't know why. Maybe God just didn't want me to see christianity as an industry. Who knows.

This afternoon dad took me into town just to pick up application forms. This may seem insignificant to some, but it was really good to sit in the car with my dad for about an hour and a bit just to talk and be with each other, enjoying each others company. It made me think: if spending so much time with my 'earthly father' was so important and good, how much more important is it i spend time with my'heavenly' father. I am generally quite good at this, but maybe I am slipping a bit in my tired state.

It seems I should start taking more care of myself. After a late night pizza hut last night, and a late night KFC on monday, and not eating properly on tuesday I don't feel all too good. mmm. Any ideas?

Life is too complicated for words really isn't it. Yesterday I was at alton towers with church and some of my mates from 'Love Bristol Fest.' One of them likes me, and I can't help being nice. So now she is going to be thinking I like her, but in reality I don't and after the past few months I'm not ready for another relationship. mmm. I know what I should do, but these things are always harder to do in reality then daily reading books, seminars and other things make out. Somtimes the christian faith can jsut be a little bit guilty of over simplyfying some areas of faith, and over complicating others.

Well, for now, dear reader, over and out.

In the begining...

So here we are, setting off on our blogging adventure. I suppose I better let you in on the story so far for this to truly represent the 21stC. In 2000 I moved to Exeter where my faith was set alight by the dudes at my school. I then struggled trying to juggle my radical spiritualism with a traditionalist Salvation Army which, lets say, had one or two issues. Then I moved to Bristol. The reason I move so much is my parents are Salvation Army officers. It is at the Salvation Army's command that they move. I was angry at the army at this point cause I had it all going for me (and the fact that dad was the Youth Co-ordinator guy meant I got to meet loads of cool people and stuff like that). However two years down the line it is much easier to see this was the right move for the Army in our area, with Martin Thompson, who also has a blog somewhere on here, at the helm we are on the edge of exciting times (Cue: The 'There is much more then this' speech). Then my faith waned and I had an unproductive year of life on all levels, which has been followed by a year of devestation with my Dad being diagnosed with deppression, my Grandad dying, Mum suffering stress on and off, a hectic GCSE year, and coming to the end of what i saw as a happy relationship with somone for what we will say for now is no particualr reason. However, the winds are changing, and in may (or june (?)) I was admitted to a 'regional youth team' for the Salvation Army in Bristol, I have been invited onto my churches worship 'co-ordinating council,' and I have just come out of this years 'South Western School of Christian Arts' (can't call it MAD any more - there is a tekkie option) which has been an explosively exciting week with loadsa stuff. That brings us pretty much up to date.

So to swsca. It is amazing how God engineers things just right really, isn't it? On the first two nights we were sleeping away from the main venue, and spent two great nights sat on the landing. Of particualar note, I got to meet Emma, who had been on staff before but I had never really spoken to. All I have to say at this point is God bless Yorkshire. Well on one of the nights part of the serious prayer time event we had to pray for other people. I ended up praying about my dad and having a complete break down. Well it turned out one of my old time friends and emma had been through similar situations as I am/have been going through, and they were a really great support. I was also able to feel Gods love through this, because he went beyond 'just calvery' to show his love, but cares for us everyday.

Nothing much more to write for now, too tired, too much post swsca blues also.

To the future...