next

So I've been pulling back away from deep theological discussions recently or anything of the sort because I've been trying to ask myself what does it mean to be a christian? I know by definition it is 'being christlike' etc, but I've had to ask myself what it is I need to be doing, why I seem to have high highs and low lows and whether thats nefing to do with me getting to caught up in stuff which isn't all that important.

It does sound like I have gone into simpleton mode, but as Paul says, do not become so concerned with the things of the law, but rather the things of the spirit. I know that I am what some people describe as an intelligent christian. This isn't me saying I'm clever or anything, but a lot of my faith and practice is thought out, which is why i suppose i keep a blog at the end of the day. This isn't too great a thing to be sometimes, depite it's uses. I know deep down I want to please God, but I start to think too much about it, debating laws and their context, and it only leads to me spending more time concentrating on the law then with God, which is a reason, I suppose, why I get down, because I start to get really upset and round up when I do go off course. I don't want to say the law is wrong, but I now know and see how one can concern themselves too much with the law. The word 4u 2day says our job is to 'get as close to God as we can and do as he asks.'

I suppose another problem is that I start to concentrate too much on the end result as to what is happening now. I don't want to go into too much depth, but rather I reccomend you have a look at Martin Thompsons blog missiome.blogspot.com

I am a big fan of comedy. I love laughing, it makes me feel good. But I was listening to somthing the otherday which struck a chord. It was on a very silly satire show which featured in a sketch this really over the top christian who wasn't really witnessing to the charecter he was in conversation to on the bus, but rather ramming christianity down his neck. He introduced himself as a christian, to which the other responded 'I'm not,' which led to the christian to reply 'thats ok, jesus loved the lost sheep, so it looks like I'll just have to love you too.' These people obviously exist, otherwise it wouldn't feature in these shows. I really believe in witnessing, despite how rubbish I am at it, but I really feel that this kind of over the top 'baige cardigan' actually moves people further away from God. This may be controversial to some people but this is how I feel.

Be back soon...

Update

There is nothing to say apart from things aren't getting better.

I need a holiday!

Those who pray - please get praying, before I really do go off the rails! I'm clinging on witht the last bit of faith in my body, desperately hoping for a miracle. I know I have to work hard, but I am tired and weary, and ready to throw in the towel, lay down my king. How foolish that would be.


I could go into mega detail, but I really can't. Maybe one day in say 60 blog entries time or somthing and I fully understand it all I'll be able to share whats gone wrong or somthing.

Oasis - "I wanna get high, but I just can't take the pain." (high on the holy spirit that is). (Pain from sacrifice).

Come and rescue me, save me from depair...

Some new things to look at

Welcome to my latest blog entry.

I have to admit I have had difficulty staying on the road since my last entry of note. I'm virtually back to where I was before the summer, and am desperately hanging over a black hole. I feel worthless and deppressed, lost all sense of drive and mission. I have well and truly hit a dry patch. I've had a time where I've been telling myself in the mornings if you don't have anything positive to say, don't say anything, then turning up at 6th form and slagging someone off. I've created humour amongst me colleagues and sadness from my father in heaven and the angels. King or cripple: what have I become?

So yeah, that's mostly thr reasons behind lack of blogging and saying anything. But I'm back and trying to mend now. Broken, beaten, but still hanging in there.

O come, o come Imanuel and ransom captive Isreal.

Sorry

Hi, this is just me proving to those of you who care I am still alove and I will blog somthing worth reading soon, rather busy and any thoughts and opinions are a little private so there you go.

May blog on wednesday or thursday.

Ben ;)